Your stories versus (my) reality

How many times have you heard a great story, either about a great person, a great product, or a great place, just to get your high expections shattered, because the greatness you’ve expected was just an expection that was never met, just the idea of getting introduced to that great person, product, place will just make want it more and more.

I belive there’s a very simple explanation for this, as a person, your reality is not the same as mine when it comes to certain aspects, expectations or even requirements, as simple as it may sound, we often forget that certain people see colors differently, your red apple may be a dark apple for others, or your green shirt may be white for certain people, in essence this is a difference of perspective.  

Your perspective will craft an opinion, and it’s usually our opinions that we share, instead of our perspective, this will oftenly lead to confusion when you’re getting a new piece of information to analyze, and create your own opinion around it, because you take the final result of an perspective, and you’re creating your own opinion on the fly.

You may wonder why I’ve chosen this topic, but the reason behind it is very simple, people should value their opinion better, and avoid sharing their opinions with high confidence, in the case they’ve build their own opinion around another, instead of getting into perspective first, and build a natural opinion about certain things.

Last night I was able to try a new software, just to remain dissapointed, really dissapointed, I had so high expectations from this, and I was thrilled to try it out,  I’m dissapointed because my expectations have not been met, but not only that, the expectations I had where build on the opinion of others, and now I’m getting to the interesting part when somebody shares a story with you, form an expectation instead of forming an opinion.

Let me show you the hidden strenght of expectations instead of opinions.

The following casses will be dialog based, where I interact with a discussion partner.

Case Study : Your opinion is formed around the opinion of others

Partner : This is an awesome product, it does that, does that, does that, this will sell very well, it even works like that, and he worked for the past N years on this !

Robert : But are you sure it works like that ? From what you’re telling it, there’s many complicated aspects around this, and some certaintly are nearly impossible. 

Partner : Yes, he’s the best at this, ( bla bla bla )

Robert : Did you try this ?

Partner : No 

You see what happened there ? he shared his opinion created around different opinions of others, instead of getting a genunine opinion, he said only great things about that product, making me believe it can do anything, and no matter what I’ve asked, the answer was always a positive one for the product.

This happened last night, I’ve finally had the chance to try this software, just to understand that all questions I had were right, and all the answers were wrong, the only reason I didn’t fall for the trap, was because I’m a software developer, and I know how these things work, but someone who is not an expert in this field, would fall in the trap, just like my friend. And because we confidently share our opinions about things we do not understand, we’re just being a part of the problem, and in order to avoid this, we should share truthfull, documented expectations, or even opinions, when we’re doing it.

When your opinions are always highly informed and relevant, you’re one step ahead of your competition, and that’s how you become and authority, and it’s your job to maintain that status, not diminish it.

Share your expectations, not your non-informed opinion, because that’s how many products, places, people get “sold” nowadays, just to leave us dissapointed.